Ask Amanda

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  Ask Amanda: I Still Feel Connected to an Abuser

  Survivors share advice on how they overcame a trauma-bond that once kept them trapped with an abuser | Q: My husband is a great manipulator. He abuses me and mentally ... read more

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  Ask Amanda: My Abusive Ex Doesn't Prioritize Our Daughter

  Survivor mom wonders if she should do what her family is encouraging, and cut off all contact | Q: I was [with an abusive partner] for seven years and left just under ... read more

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  Ask Amanda: Can a Judge Issue a Gag Order Against a Victim?

  A survivor is told she can no longer post on social media about the domestic violence charges against her ex-partner | Q: A judge issued a gag order against me from sp... read more

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  Ask Amanda: Using the Grey Rock Method to Avoid Abuse

  Choosing not to react can be a temporary solution to shutting down some types of abuse | Q: I’ve been dating someone I’d consider a narcissist for over a year. He’s ve... read more

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  Ask Amanda: I Live with a Controlling Husband

  A pattern of increasing control by a partner is abuse, and has the potential to escalate | Q: My husband is very controlling, which I can see now. But I used to feel l... read more

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  Ask Amanda: How Do I Rebuild My Finances After Abuse?

  Anxiety takes over every time one survivor thinks about facing her finances | Q: I’m a survivor and feel stuck, financially, after what 2020 dealt us all. Even though ... read more

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  Ask Amanda: My Husband Wants Me to Spank the Kids

  A spouse is conflicted over husband’s request to use corporal punishment with the children | This edition of Ask Amanda was written by Lisa Fontes, a domestic violence... read more

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  Ask Amanda: My Abusive Pastor-Husband Has Dementia

  Leaving someone with a disease presents even more guilt, challenges | This edition of Ask Amanda was written by Lisa Fontes, a domestic violence expert with a Ph.D. in... read more

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  Ask Amanda: Wearing a Face Mask is Triggering Anxiety

  For survivors of domestic violence who have experienced suffocation or strangulation, there is a way to calm yourself before putting on a facemask | This edition of As... read more

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  Ask Amanda: Abuser from 15 Years Ago Is Stalking Me

  Off parole, he has begun to terrorize his victim all over again | Q: Hi Amanda, I just saw your article about feeling guilty after putting an abusive partner in jail. ... read more

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  Ask Amanda: After Mom Died, Dad Takes It Out on Us

  A young survivor of abuse wonders if the cycle of abuse will ever end | Q: I have been put in a unique situation that's been getting worse and worse over the past seve... read more

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  Ask Amanda: How Can I Afford to Leave?

  Survivor in an isolated area is looking for ideas to fund her escape | Q: I have been trying to leave my abusive husband for quite some time now. He is always ten step... read more

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  Ask Amanda: I Can't Buy Necessities During Quarantine

  Due to her husband’s financial control, a survivor is running out of food and cleaning supplies, and beginning to panic | Q: My husband controls our bank account—I can... read more

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  Ask Amanda: I Feel Guilty for Putting Him Away

  Her abusive partner’s in jail, so why does she feel bad for him? | Q: My ex-boyfriend was put in jail because he missed his court date regarding criminal charges he wa... read more

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  Ask Amanda: The Quarantine is Triggering

  For those forced into isolation before by an abuser, the COVID-19 quarantine can bring up bad memories | Q: I escaped a marriage some time ago to a partner who was abu... read more