Identifying Abuse

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  How Abusers Speak

  Listen for these words that could spell control, or much worse | We all know what sticks and stones can do, but the second part of that saying isn’t exactly true. Word... read more

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  When an Abuser Controls the Story

  Abusers lie about incidents before you have a chance to tell your side | For a host of reasons—shock, embarrassment, guilt, shame, safety—it’s difficult enough to come... read more

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  Dating After Domestic Violence, Critical Questions to Ask

  Lonely in a pandemic, domestic violence survivors face difficult choices. | With the extreme stresses of COVID-19 and social distancing, it is easy to crave a relation... read more

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  How Not to Fall into a Caregiving Trap with an Abuser

  Safely and discreetly getting support in quarantine and beyond | When COVID-19 social distancing guidelines first went into place in Connecticut in March, Debra Greenw... read more

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  Including They and Them When Talking Domestic Violence

  Non-binary survivors feel excluded from the domestic violence conversation | While anyone can experience harm as a result of intimate partner violence, domestic violen... read more

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  Do You Feel Trapped Because of Your HIV Status?

  Survivors who are HIV positive face unique barriers to leaving an abuser | Enduring abuse is difficult for anyone. But add in living with HIV and a survivor faces a mu... read more

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  Abuse Almost Always Escalates

  Bad news: If you’re trapped in a cycle of abuse, it’s most likely going to only get worse | When you ask survivors what their last straw was during domestic violence, ... read more

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  When Your Partner Asks for an Open Relationship

  Here’s how to differentiate innocuous requests from red flags for abuse | For many individuals, monogamy is the norm—one partner, one relationship at a time. But some ... read more

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  Resisting Control When It's Disguised as Love

  Seeing through an abuser's performances of "love" gives victims renewed power | Abusive and controlling partners often use "loving" acts to manipulate th... read more

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  What Is Toxic Triangulation?

  Abusers can turn a survivor’s friends, family and children against them through harmful fabrications | Some abusers use a tactic called toxic triangulation as one more... read more

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  How to Help a Child Who's Being Abused

  Intimate partner violence and child abuse often go hand in hand. Here’s how you can intervene | Where there’s intimate partner violence, there’s often also child abuse... read more

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  When Domestic Abuse Happens in a Polygamous Relationship

  Finding nonjudgemental support is a challenge for those in plural relationships | People in polygamous or polyamorous relationships—aka, having more than one partner o... read more

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  Putting Trauma Down in Words

  The ways journaling can help survivors | For myself, journaling started with one of those palm-sized hardcover diaries adorned with a photograph of fluffy white kitten... read more

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  What Is Sexual Coercion?

  Just because it’s not rape, doesn’t mean it’s not abuse | Maybe your partner guilted you into it, or just kept asking until you relented. Or maybe he or she purposely ... read more

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  It's Not Love, It's Love Bombing

  Abusers rely on long-term tactics to build up a sense of dependency in their victim | You might not have heard of the term love bombing before, but you may have been t... read more