Identifying Abuse

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  What Is Domestic Violence?

  A comprehensive guide to helping you understand domestic violence and abuse | Domestic violence is not always easy to spot. It doesn’t always come with bruises or a bl... read more

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  Seeing Abusers as Manipulators, Con Artists

  A psychologist says there is a way to “unmask” an abuser and possibly avoid them before getting trapped | Abusers can be manipulative. They can gaslight you and make y... read more

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  You Can Call a Hotline Even If You Don't Want to Leave

  10 questions you can ask an advocate that have nothing to do with shelter | Contrary to what many believe, shelter hotlines are not only for people who are looking for... read more

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  When Abusers Hurt Themselves to Get Victims in Trouble

  Protect yourself from an abuser who self-injures to look like a victim | To dominate their partners, abusers sometimes call the police against their victims, or injure... read more

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  Why Abusers May Withhold Medical Care and Medication

  It’s another form of power and control when abusers prevent you from seeking medical help | Imagine the immense pain and discomfort of breaking your collarbone only to... read more

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  How Abusers Speak

  Listen for these words that could spell control, or much worse | We all know what sticks and stones can do, but the second part of that saying isn’t exactly true. Word... read more

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  When an Abuser Controls the Story

  Abusers lie about incidents before you have a chance to tell your side | For a host of reasons—shock, embarrassment, guilt, shame, safety—it’s difficult enough to come... read more

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  Dating After Domestic Violence, Critical Questions to Ask

  Lonely in a pandemic, domestic violence survivors face difficult choices. | With the extreme stresses of COVID-19 and social distancing, it is easy to crave a relation... read more

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  How Not to Fall into a Caregiving Trap with an Abuser

  Safely and discreetly getting support in quarantine and beyond | When COVID-19 social distancing guidelines first went into place in Connecticut in March, Debra Greenw... read more

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  Including They and Them When Talking Domestic Violence

  Non-binary survivors feel excluded from the domestic violence conversation | While anyone can experience harm as a result of intimate partner violence, domestic violen... read more

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  Do You Feel Trapped Because of Your HIV Status?

  Survivors who are HIV positive face unique barriers to leaving an abuser | Enduring abuse is difficult for anyone. But add in living with HIV and a survivor faces a mu... read more

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  Abuse Almost Always Escalates

  Bad news: If you’re trapped in a cycle of abuse, it’s most likely going to only get worse | When you ask survivors what their last straw was during domestic violence, ... read more

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  When Your Partner Asks for an Open Relationship

  Here’s how to differentiate innocuous requests from red flags for abuse | For many individuals, monogamy is the norm—one partner, one relationship at a time. But some ... read more

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  Resisting Control When It's Disguised as Love

  Seeing through an abuser's performances of "love" gives victims renewed power | Abusive and controlling partners often use "loving" acts to manipulate th... read more

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  What Is Toxic Triangulation?

  Abusers can turn a survivor’s friends, family and children against them through harmful fabrications | Some abusers use a tactic called toxic triangulation as one more... read more