The Link Between Domestic Violence and Suicide: What We Know and What We Don't

Information shared in this piece may be triggering to some. If you are having suicidal thoughts, you can reach out 24/7 to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 for support from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, please consider calling 911. 

Key Takeaways:

• Domestic violence is strongly linked to increased suicide risk, but the connection is often underrecognized due to limited data and context.
• Many survivors face isolation, trauma and perceived inescapability, which can make suicide feel like the only option.
• Experts and emerging cases call for better recognition of coercive control and greater accountability for how abuse contributes to these deaths.

There are no official statistics for how many women choose to die by suicide rather than live another day with an abusive partner. There are only stories that surface quietly, and victims are often misunderstood. 

“They chose this,” say those outside the relationship. Then comes the brief mention of years of abuse. And often, it’s revealed the victim never reported the abuser to the police. What goes unexamined are the barriers: being out of options, lacking resources, feeling people’s judgment, the self-blame. In that context, suicide becomes, too often, what feels like the only way out.

However, the absence of a specific number of victims who go down this path does not mean the absence of an epidemic. It just means we haven’t been paying attention.  

What Statistics Do Show About Suicide and Domestic Violence Victims

Research shows that women who had experienced physical violence from a partner were more than seven times more likely to report suicidal thoughts than those who had not. In one study, it was found 23 percent of survivors had attempted suicide compared to 3 percent of those with no prior abusive partner. In short, when someone is trapped in abuse, the risk of wanting to die rises dramatically.

“Domestic violence-related suicide is often the final stage of prolonged hopelessness, nervous system exhaustion, emotional isolation and feeling trapped with no safe exit in sight. Many victims do not necessarily want to die,” says Liza Boubari, clinical hypnotherapist, domestic violence expert and survivor. “They want the fear, emotional captivity, exhaustion and internal suffering to stop.” 

In a 2019 study out of Kentucky, researchers looked at 10-year period of suicides recorded in the Kentucky Violent Death Reporting System. In 26 percent of suicides where details were available, problems with an intimate partner were a part of the picture. In 30 percent of those individuals, an argument or fight immediately preceded the suicide. 

And yet, these victims’ stories are too often minimized as individuals being “unhappy” or “suffering from mental illness.” The history of power and control, and possibly violence, by the person they loved and trusted most, is overlooked for the severe warning sign it could have been. 

Data Doesn’t Tell the Whole Story

But does correlation show causation? Are abusers to blame for their victims taking their own lives?

For Jagdish Khubchandani, a professor of public health at New Mexico State University who studies interpersonal and gun violence, the problem begins earlier: we are not even collecting the kind of data that would allow us to answer that question. 

“Death certificates need to change,” he says. In most cases, they record only the manner of death and not the context surrounding it. Without more precise data, he warns, “it does not seem the number of suicides will decline.”

Without that context, the connection continues to be shrugged off. Looking at a history of coercion, escalating violence or unrelenting psychological harm is rarely detailed in official records, making it difficult to understand how often abusive intimate partners are part of the foundation for suicide. Khubchandani argues that we also need more segmented research, distinguishing between vastly different experiences, from aging-related health crises to young people navigating dating violence.

Schools don’t see teen dating violence as a priority,” he says. That often looks like a quiet diffusion of responsibility with school officials vastly underestimating the problem, educators who are already overextended and parents left to piece together what they can. In that space, warning signs are easy to miss. And yet, girls and young women between the ages of 16 and 24 experience the highest rate of intimate partner violence, almost triple the national average. One in three girls and women in this age group will be a victim of physical, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner.

A Clearer Picture Elsewhere

While the issue of domestic violence-related suicides remains under-researched in the U.S., in England, data shows a distinct pattern. A government funded research initiative called The Domestic Homicide Project found that, from 2023 to 2024, 80 people were killed by an intimate partner. Another 98 suspected victims of domestic violence took their own lives. It was the second year in a row that suicides outnumbered homicides. 

"For too long, these deaths have been treated as 'unavoidable tragedies'—but they are not. They are preventable," Julie Devey, chairwoman of the group Killed Women, who collaborated on the report, told the media. She, along with distraught loved ones left behind, are calling for police to look into a history of domestic violence when there is an unexpected death.

What those numbers represent is a lived reality for so many victims that often remains hidden. “As a mental wellness professional, I believe we must begin asking deeper questions: What was happening behind closed doors? How long had she been surviving instead of truly living? And how much of her emotional safety, identity, confidence, voice and hope had slowly been stripped away over time?” says Boubari.

Should Abusers Be Held Responsible for Victims’ Suicides?

Recently in Scotland, Lee Milne was found responsible in a court of law for his wife’s suicide, a landmark ruling. The High Court in Glasgow ruled that the 39-year-old had subjected his wife, Kimberly, to coercive control, violent physical abuse and strangulation. Kimberly was 28 when she climbed over the barrier of an overpass in 2023 and jumped to her death. 

“Lee Milne physically and psychologically abused Kimberly Bruce and our evidence showed that this abuse was a significant contributing factor in her death,” Prosecutor Laura Buchan told the court. “He deliberately and ruthlessly exploited Kimberly’s vulnerabilities which makes him culpable for her decision to end her own life. Our prosecution demonstrated how women can become trapped in relationships in webs created by an abuser.”

A ruling like this begs the question—when abuse leads to suicide, can the abuser be held responsible? Abusers are already seeing notoriously lenient sentences here in the U.S., facing an average of just 2 to 6 years behind bars after murdering their partner. (Meanwhile, the ACLU found women who kill their partner in self-defense will spend an average of 15 years in jail.) That is, even if abusers do go to jail. One study found that less than two percent of domestic violence offenders ever saw any jail time. 

So what are the actual chances an abuser will be held responsible for their partner’s suicide?

“I think there should be consequences for assisting in a suicide,” says Khubchandani, “but it’s hard to define. [Abusers] assisted, but to what extent?”

Proving assistance—or coercion, more precisely— is tough, but not impossible. In 2017, a Massachusetts teen was convicted of involuntary manslaughter for repeatedly pushing her 18-year-old boyfriend to take his own life. Prosecutors presented dozens of text messages and phone call recordings as evidence. She served 11 months in jail.

But without that kind of direct evidence, can prosecutors draw a line between years of abuse and a victim’s decision to end their life? 

When criminal charges fall short, there is another option: civil court. A wrongful death lawsuit allows family members to sue an entity they believe was negligent and which led to their loved one’s death. The car maker Tesla, for instance, has at least 20 active wrongful death suits against them for crashes blamed on their auto-driving features. The Hershey Co. is being sued for a super spicy tortilla chip that a mother in Massachusetts says caused the death of her 14-year-old son. 

We already hold people and companies responsible for harm that leads to someone’s death, even when the connection isn’t straightforward. The question is whether it can be applied to abuse. Can a pattern of coercion, control and violence be recognized not just as unfortunate circumstances, but as cause?

For families of victims, that question isn’t theoretical. It may be one of the only remaining paths to accountability.

The Problem of Hidden Homicides

There is another significant challenge in connecting suicides and domestic violence—the epidemic of abusers masking a homicide to look like their partner’s suicide. Luckily, the law is beginning to take notice. In 2024, the California State Senate voted unanimously in support of SB 989, also known as the “Suspicious Death Bill” or “Joanna’s Law.” It was named in honor and memory of Joanna Hunter who died in 2011, a victim of homicide, say her family members, even though her official cause of death was ruled a suicide. 

SB 989 puts the 10 factors of “hidden homicides” found in published research on staged crime scenes into state law. When any of those factors exist, the death will be deemed suspicious, and the medical examiner will be directed to take another look. These signs include a history of being victimized by domestic violence that includes coercive control and the partner having control of the scene before law enforcement arrived.

Alliance for HOPE International, through their Justice Project program, independently reviews hidden homicide cases around the country at the request of family members. Gael Strack and Casey Gwinn, cofounders of the Alliance, say they believe there could be at least 1,000 hidden homicide cases in the U.S. each year. 

Warning Signs of Escalating Violence

Prevention in these cases requires more than identifying suicide risk in isolation. It requires recognizing the context in which that risk develops: patterns of escalating abuse that can make a relationship feel like there is not an escape for the victim.

A survivor or those close to the survivor can recognize these signs of escalation, which can be either gradual or sudden. They can point to both an increased risk of suicide by the victim or homicide by the abuser.

• Isolation. The abuser takes steps to prevent the survivor from having outside influence or support. The survivor is no longer allowed to see family or friends, the couple move to a remote area or new state, or the survivor is forced to quit their job or stop going to school. 
• Control ramps up. What was once “I’d rather you not go out with your friends tonight,” shifts to a more demanding “I’ll tell you when you can leave the house.” 
• Exits are blocked. The survivor’s life or the lives of their children, loved ones or pets is threatened if they tell anyone about the abuse or try to leave. 
• Sudden escalation. The abuser abruptly intensifies from threats to physical violence. It’s the first time the abuser pushes, hits or strangles a survivor. 
• Abuse on display. For the first time, the abuser exhibits power and control in front of others or in a public space, instead of behind closed doors. 

Talk to Someone

You’re not alone if you feel trapped or helpless with an abusive partner. Connect with a domestic violence advocate on our Get Help page or through Hope Chat in the bottom corner of your screen to access more resources, articles and support. Read “Domestic Violence Survivors: Thinking of Suicide?” for additional support.