Not Now

Abusers may monitor your phone, TAP HERE to more safely and securely browse DomesticShelters.org with a password protected app.

1. Select a discrete app icon.

Next step: Custom Icon Title

Next

2. Change the title (optional).

Building App
Home / Data Center / Surveys

Domestic Violence Surveys

Survey

Do you feel like an abusive partner robbed you of hope?

(Please select all that apply)
Survey

What type of emotional abuse did you find most damaging?

(Please select all that apply)
Survey

Have you ever utilized a court advocate?

Survey

Have you ever thought about starting your own DV nonprofit?

Survey

What type of mental abuse did you find most damaging?

Survey

What’s the most important thing you look for in a therapist?

(Please select all that apply)
Survey

Did you find military command responsive when reporting DV?

Survey

As a survivor, how have you documented evidence of abuse?

Survey

Have you ever suffered a TBI because of an abusive partner?

Survey

Have you ever experienced an abuser who ....? - Results

Stole your identity.
359 votes
Used your credit (e.g. opened a credit card or loan in your name without your permission).
391 votes
Cyberstalked you.
564 votes
Monitored your financial activity to assert control over you or your children.
617 votes
Survey

How has or currently does your partner exploit your labor? - Results

I don’t have control over my own earnings.
93 votes
I work for a business owned by my partner but don’t have an equal share of ownership.
33 votes
I do all of child and home care but am often told I’m contributing nothing to the household.
167 votes
I work a job for a wage but am still expected to do all of the work in the home.
157 votes
My partner is also my boss and I risk losing my job if I end the relationship.
14 votes
I’m being forced to work in the sex trade.
16 votes
I’m required to work outside the home, even if I’m sick or too tired to do so.
40 votes
My partner frivolity spends my earnings but says we cannot afford necessities.
99 votes
Survey

In which relationships have you experienced gaslighting? - Results

From a dating partner
181 votes
From my spouse
164 votes
From a friend
83 votes
From my coworker or boss
76 votes
From my landlord
23 votes
From a clergy member
20 votes
From my medical health professional
26 votes
From my parent or caregiver
135 votes
From a family member other than a spouse
102 votes
Survey

Have you ever created/used a covert signal to ask for help? - Results

Yes
39 votes
No
45 votes
Survey

What was your last straw with an abusive partner? - Results

When they became possessive and controlling over me.
12 votes
When they threatened to physically harm me.
2 votes
When they threatened to physically harm my children.
3 votes
The first time they were physically violent toward me.
7 votes
The first time they were physically violent toward my children.
9 votes
When I wound up needing medical care or being hospitalized.
5 votes
When they threatened to kill me.
11 votes
When they acquired a weapon that I knew could kill me.
3 votes
After they tried to kill me.
9 votes
My final straw was something else.
19 votes
Survey

Did an abusive partner prevent you from voting in elections? - Results

Yes
49 votes
No
142 votes
Survey

As a survivor of abuse, what term do you prefer? - Results

Survivor
147 votes
Victim
43 votes
Survivor still impacted by abuse
148 votes
Other
36 votes
Survey

Were you asked about abuse at your last Dr. appointment? - Results

Yes
56 votes
No
133 votes
Survey

Which abuser(s) have you encountered? - Results

The Demand Man
217 votes
Mr. Right
193 votes
The Water Torturer
102 votes
The Drill Sergeant
138 votes
Mr. Sensitive
158 votes
The Player
133 votes
Rambo
70 votes
Survey

Do you think a DV offender registry could prevent abuse? - Results

Yes
477 votes
No
109 votes
Survey

Survivors: Did you feel like you had power to stop abuse? - Results

Yes, I believed that if I had really caused it, I could stop it.
277 votes
No, I knew it was the abuser’s choice to continue to be abusive.
404 votes
Survey

Did an abuser ever use sleep deprivation as a form of abuse? - Results

Yes, my abuser wouldn’t let me fall or stay asleep.
808 votes
Yes, and my abuser would physically, sexually or verbally abuse me when I fell asleep.
474 votes
Yes, and my abuser would punish me the next day for making mistakes while exhausted.
161 votes
No, my abuser never used sleep deprivation as an abuse tactic.
354 votes
Survey

Did you collect evidence against your abuser before court? - Results

Yes, and it helped my case.
135 votes
Yes, but my abuser found out and destroyed it.
62 votes
No, I wasn’t able to or I was afraid it would put me in more danger.
202 votes
Yes, but it was inadmissible in court.
25 votes
Survey

As a survivor, do you dream of becoming an entrepreneur? - Results

Yes, I would love to become an entrepreneur and I have an idea for a business.
183 votes
Yes, I would love to become an entrepreneur but I don’t yet have a business idea.
75 votes
No, I don’t really have any desire to start my own business.
61 votes
Survey

How do you feel the system is failing DV survivors? - Results

Not enough DV-trained judges and attorneys.
114 votes
Law enforcement needs to be better educated about recognizing DV.
57 votes
More help for survivors to get orders of protection.
25 votes
More free legal assistance from DV-trained attorneys.
66 votes
Courts need to stop giving abusers custody of their children.
153 votes
Mandatory arrest laws need to be abolished.
16 votes
The problem is with the way our culture views women.
80 votes
Survey

At what age did you or do you plan to talk to your kids about boundaries and consent? - Results

Before 3
141 votes
Between 3-4
90 votes
Between 5-6
53 votes
Between 7-8
29 votes
Between 9-12
51 votes
I never talked about boundaries and consent with my kids, or don't plan to
11 votes
Not until they are/were teenagers
13 votes
Survey

As a Black survivor of DV, did you or have you felt reluctant to disclose abuse? - Results

Yes, because I’m afraid of being harassed or harmed by the police.
44 votes
Yes, because I’m afraid of turning my partner over to the police, or I believe I should stand by him no matter what.
56 votes
Yes, because of judgment from my own community.
36 votes
Yes, because I’m afraid of raising my children alone or separating them from their father.
40 votes
Yes, because of financial insecurity.
50 votes
Yes, but for another reason not listed.
52 votes
No, I have or will disclose abuse to someone.
47 votes
Survey

Have you ever intervened when you’ve witnessed domestic violence? - Results

Yes, I’ve tried one of the methods above, or something similar.
367 votes
No, but I would.
178 votes
No, and I regret not doing so.
92 votes
No, I don’t think it’s my place to get involved.
30 votes
Survey

How many people did you tell when you were ready to leave your abuser? - Results

No one.
123 votes
1-2
194 votes
3-4
50 votes
5 or more
41 votes
Survey

When you left your abuser, did you contemplate the decision for a while? - Results

I decided in a split second to leave.
94 votes
I struggled for several days/weeks deciding if I should go.
139 votes
It took me years to overcome the barriers in order to escape.
315 votes
I’m still struggling with figuring out how and when to leave.
188 votes
Survey

Did you have time to do any of the following before leaving your abuser? - Results

I was able to gather up our financial documents.
30 votes
I opened up a new account or credit card in my name only.
43 votes
I was able to accumulate and safely hide away some cash.
38 votes
I was able to change beneficiaries on my accounts to someone other than my abuser.
9 votes
I wasn’t able to do any of these things before leaving my abuser.
140 votes
Survey

Has someone used a LifeLock fraudulently to stalk you? - Results

Yes
30 votes
No
197 votes
Survey

Survivors: What types of empathy made a difference in your life? (Select all that apply.) - Results

Listening without judgment
301 votes
Always being open and available to talk
181 votes
Someone educating themselves about domestic violence to understand what you went through
187 votes
Unexpected gestures of kindness (such as providing food, shelter, or a monetary gift)
223 votes
Someone opening up to you about similar experiences
201 votes
Physical affection, like a hug
125 votes
Withholding judgement
218 votes
Survey

If your abuser was sentenced to probation, did he ever violate the terms of his probation? - Results

Only once.
35 votes
Yes, more than once.
205 votes
No, my abuser obeyed the conditions of probation.
32 votes
Survey

Which of these at-home methods helped relieve your symptoms of trauma? - Results

Meditation
128 votes
Exercise
141 votes
Massage
42 votes
Binge-watching my favorite movies or TV show
128 votes
Volunteering
78 votes
Talking to a therapist
173 votes
I haven't tried any of these
48 votes
Survey

Parents: Do you ask about guns in the home before letting your child play somewhere new? - Results

Yes, always.
26 votes
Occasionally.
15 votes
No, and I wouldn't ask.
30 votes
I haven't before, but now I plan to ask.
58 votes
Survey

How long did it take after abuse ended to feel like a strong, empowered survivor? - Results

Immediately after I separated from my abuser.
20 votes
Less than a year.
28 votes
One to three years.
166 votes
Three to five years.
126 votes
Five to 10 years.
103 votes
More than 10 years.
97 votes
Survey

Do you believe spanking a child is an OK form of discipline? - Results

Yes
83 votes
No
322 votes
It's up to the parents.
46 votes
I'm not sure.
34 votes
Survey

Does the entertainment industry influence society’s ideas on abuse, rape and consent? - Results

Yes, definitely. People are a product of what they see, hear and read.
190 votes
Somewhat. But most people are probably smart enough to separate entertainment from from reality.
62 votes
No, not at all.
4 votes
Survey

If you have experienced domestic violence, how was it impacted by the summer season? - Results

The violence tended to escalate during the summer.
61 votes
The violence stayed consistent from season to season.
104 votes
The violence was less during the summer.
28 votes
Survey

If you’re a survivor, how many times have you reached out to a hotline? - Results

I’ve never called a hotline before.
173 votes
Once or twice.
80 votes
3-5 times.
43 votes
6-10 times.
18 votes
I’ve lost track, I’ve called them so often for help.
16 votes
Survey

Do you ask for consent before kissing your partner? - Results

Only if it's the first kiss!
53 votes
No, never.
47 votes
Yes, always.
31 votes
Sometimes.
73 votes
Survey

What did your instincts tell you when you met your abuser the first time? - Results

I don’t remember feeling anything off-putting.
172 votes
I remember some feelings of unease or uncertainty, but I looked past them.
304 votes
Survey

Did you delay/are you delaying leaving your abuser due to concerns of escalated violence? - Results

Yes
532 votes
No
64 votes
Survey

Did news, politics or current events impact the frequency of the abuse you experienced? - Results

Yes, the frequency of the abuse I experienced increased.
58 votes
No, the frequency of the abuse I experienced did not increase.
99 votes
Survey

As a survivor, what sort of legal representation did you get pertaining to your DV case? - Results

I hired an attorney(s) at regular rates and paid for it.
97 votes
I hired an attorney(s) who took my case at reduced rates.
26 votes
I found and used free legal help or representation.
74 votes
I represented myself or wasn’t able to find free or low-cost legal help.
119 votes
Survey

Have you felt like your abuser has kept or tried to keep your children from you? - Results

Yes, I’m a mom and my abuser has tried to do this.
393 votes
Yes, I’m a father and my abuser has tried to do this.
51 votes
No, my abuser has not tried to keep me from seeing my children.
70 votes
Survey

Have you ever used VINE to notify you of an offender’s release? - Results

Yes, and it worked great.
49 votes
Yes, but I wasn’t alerted when an offender was released.
33 votes
No, I didn’t know about it. But I might sign up for notifications.
41 votes
No, I’m in one of the two states it’s not offered in.
6 votes
Survey

Have you or would you involve your children in safety planning? - Results

Yes, I have or would.
170 votes
No, I haven’t or wouldn’t.
21 votes
Survey

If you’ve experienced DV at the hands of a serviceman or woman, have you reported it? - Results

Yes, and the military took appropriate actions to help keep myself and my family safe.
19 votes
Yes, but the military did not seem to support any repercussions for my abuser.
96 votes
No, I was too afraid of what might happen to myself or my spouse as a result.
93 votes
No, I didn’t report it for another reason.
58 votes
Survey

What’s the biggest financial hurdle you’ve had to overcome after abuse? - Results

Trying to find or access joint finances.
41 votes
Opening my own bank account or credit card.
10 votes
Repairing credit history ruined by abuser.
204 votes
Creating a workable budget.
81 votes
Saving for the future.
55 votes
Survey

If you’ve been turned away from a DV shelter because of lack of space, what did you do? - Results

Returned to my abuser.
158 votes
Went to a homeless shelter, stayed in my car overnight or lived on the streets.
55 votes
Found a DV shelter with availability in another city.
21 votes
Stayed at a hotel.
29 votes
Stayed with family or friends.
73 votes
Found refuge with my place of worship.
3 votes
Other.
27 votes
Survey

Did you find verbal abuse more or less damaging, long-term, than physical abuse? - Results

Verbal abuse felt more damaging than physical abuse.
1154 votes
The physical abuse was more damaging to me than verbal abuse.
37 votes
All types of abuse I endured were equally as damaging long-term.
669 votes
Survey

How did you document the abuse you experienced? - Results

Friends willing to testify on abuse they witnessed
24 votes
Medical reports of injuries
30 votes
Police reports
65 votes
Pictures of injuries, destruction or other visual evidence
108 votes
Personal diary
151 votes
Digital evidence, emails, texts, screenshots, voice mail
179 votes
None of the above, I didn't document the abuse
266 votes
Survey

How has domestic violence most impacted you at work? - Results

I’ve been late or missed more days than I’d like.
88 votes
My abuser has stalked me at my place of employment.
51 votes
I’m distracted at work by my abuser’s harassment.
83 votes
I’ve been unable to find work because of the abuse I’m enduring.
41 votes
I’ve been fired because of domestic violence affecting my ability to work.
73 votes
Survey

Where did you find the most support while going through domestic abuse? - Results

My family or close friends
75 votes
A DV advocate
64 votes
A DV support group
29 votes
My workplace/coworkers
18 votes
Religious or spiritual leaders
17 votes
My doctor
12 votes
I relied on myself for strength
248 votes
Survey

If your abuser was or is in law enforcement, did that give you pause about speaking out? - Results

Yes, I was afraid I wouldn’t be believed.
30 votes
Yes, I thought my abuser would be able to work the system.
49 votes
Yes, I was worried he or she would lose their job.
13 votes
No, I spoke up and got help, or am planning to get help soon.
3 votes
Survey

As a teen, did you feel like you had someone you could talk to about dating violence? - Results

I knew I could talk to my parents about this.
9 votes
I would have rather gone to my friends to talk about dating violence.
24 votes
I trusted our school counselor on matters like this.
3 votes
I did call, or would have felt comfortable calling, a help line to talk about my concerns.
4 votes
No, I don’t feel like I had someone I could trust to talk to about this.
114 votes
Survey

As an immigrant survivor of domestic abuse, what challenge did you face in getting help? - Results

I don’t speak a common language.
0 votes
I’m not sure where to turn for help.
6 votes
Even if I left my abuser, I have nowhere else to live or no job to support myself with.
33 votes
I can’t reveal the abuse for fear of shaming or disappointing my family.
7 votes
I’m afraid I’ll be deported, or my abuser will be deported, if the abuse is revealed.
8 votes
Other
4 votes
Survey

What barrier did you come up against when you thought about leaving your abuser? - Results

It was safer to stay
91 votes
Shame or embarrassment
79 votes
Drugs or alcohol abuse were present
21 votes
Stockholm syndrome
93 votes
Living in a rural place or having no transportation
40 votes
Being undocumented
11 votes
Other
81 votes
Survey

As a parent & survivor, what's been the biggest challenge when it comes to custody issues? - Results

My abuser claiming I’m trying to turn our children against him or her.
35 votes
My abuser turning my children against me.
62 votes
My abuser trying to get custody when I know my children are scared to go to him or her.
45 votes
My children being required to spend time with my abuser or being in a risk environment.
119 votes
Having to communicate and deal with my abuser on a regular basis.
64 votes
Finding knowledgeable people or resources to help me with child custody issues.
40 votes
Being able to afford quality legal representation.
104 votes
Survey

Which of these barriers did you face when you thought about leaving your abusive partner? - Results

Mental disability
34 votes
Being in the military
14 votes
Having no place to go
332 votes
Your religious beliefs
64 votes
Your own past criminal record
8 votes
A prior negative experience with the court system
65 votes
Other
138 votes
Survey

Have you ever come up against housing discrimination as a survivor of domestic violence? - Results

Yes, a landlord tried to evict me on grounds related to abuse my partner inflicted on me.
42 votes
Yes, I was unable to break a lease without penalty when I needed to move for my safety.
34 votes
Both of the above.
31 votes
No, I’ve always been lucky to have a landlord that was not discriminatory in any way.
48 votes
Survey

Did your batterer use strangulation as an abuse tactic? - Results

No, never.
302 votes
Yes, but I luckily didn’t suffer long-term health effects.
2097 votes
Yes, and it still impacts my health.
1889 votes
Survey

If you’ve experienced cyberstalking, what tactic did your abuser use? - Results

An app was installed allowing my abuser to read my emails and texts.
13 votes
My abuser used a GPS app to track my location.
17 votes
My abuser stalked and monitored my activity on social media sites.
72 votes
My abuser coerced me to share my passwords to my online accounts.
9 votes
My abuser shared or threatened to share online my private or intimate photos.
13 votes
More than one of the above.
172 votes
All of the above.
60 votes
Survey

How supportive was your religion when you contemplated leaving an abusive partner? - Results

My religion, and the people in it, were supportive and understanding.
94 votes
I found my place of worship somewhat judgmental and not overly helpful.
78 votes
My religion didn’t help or support leaving my partner.
161 votes
Survey

How many times did you attempt to leave your abuser before you were able to escape? - Results

1 time
83 votes
2-3 times
231 votes
4-6 times
233 votes
7-10 times
160 votes
11-15 times
60 votes
16 or more times
77 votes
I'm still with an abuser
192 votes
Survey

What barrier did you come up against when you thought about leaving your abusive partner? - Results

Wanting to keep the family together
220 votes
Illiteracy
1 votes
You are or were incarcerated
7 votes
Your abuser is in law enforcement
22 votes
Your sexual orientation
6 votes
Still being in love with your abuser
186 votes
Mental illness or other health issues
113 votes
Survey

Did you use drugs or alcohol while experiencing abuse? - Results

No, I didn't use substances (or only did in moderation and unrelated to the abuse).
109 votes
Yes, but only occassionally and in order to cope.
77 votes
Yes, because my abuser forced it upon me.
21 votes
Yes, for coping or because it was forced upon me, and I became addicted as a result.
115 votes
I had a substance abuse problem before the violence started.
29 votes
Survey

Do you think an abusive partner could change after attending batterer counseling? - Results

Yes, I think certain abusive behaviors can be unlearned.
72 votes
It depends on the severity and type of abuse, but possibly.
114 votes
No, once an abuser, always an abuser.
156 votes
Survey

Have you experienced discrimination from law enforcement when calling to report abuse? - Results

No, I’ve generally experienced a good response and police have been helpful.
49 votes
On occasion, I’ve felt my call wasn’t given the priority it should have been from police.
94 votes
Yes, I have felt repeatedly that police have not believed me when I say I’m in immediate danger.
206 votes
Survey

If you left an abusive partner with your teen, were you able to find shelter? - Results

Yes, a shelter in my area was able to help myself and my teenage children.
17 votes
Sort of. I found help from a local organization, but we were given alternate housing outside of a shelter.
15 votes
No, I couldn’t find a shelter that would take in me and my teenage children.
42 votes
Survey

When you were experiencing abuse, what did someone do that you found most helpful? - Results

They helped me find or call a local DV advocate or shelter.
70 votes
They helped me financially.
146 votes
They accompanied me to court.
64 votes
They helped me come up with a safety plan for escape.
95 votes
They watched my pets for me when I left my abuser.
19 votes
They listened and supported me unconditionally.
347 votes
Unfortunately, none of my friends or family offered help.
284 votes
Survey

What barrier did you come up against when you thought about leaving your abusive partner? - Results

Lack of an advocate to help you
237 votes
Threats or excuses from or influence of abuser
450 votes
Best interest of or pressure from children
156 votes
Cultural or racial defenses
20 votes
Denial
191 votes
Being elderly or disabled
53 votes
Other
182 votes
Survey

If you’ve experienced domestic violence, how was it impacted by holidays? - Results

The violence tended to escalate during holidays
208 votes
The violence stayed consistent regardless of the day
91 votes
The violence was less during holidays
42 votes
Survey

Have you shared your story of domestic abuse publically before? - Results

Yes, I do speak often because it is healing and helps others.
228 votes
Once or twice. I mostly keep it to myself and press on.
130 votes
No, I haven’t spoken about it publically yet, but I want to.
165 votes
No, I don’t plan on speaking out about it.
38 votes
Survey

At what age did you first experience abuse by an intimate partner? - Results

0-16 years old
152 votes
17-24 years old
297 votes
25-34 years old
82 votes
35-45 years old
19 votes
46+ years old
11 votes
Survey

Which type of abuse did you experience first? - Results

Physical abuse
142 votes
Emotional/verbal abuse
1567 votes
Sexual abuse
175 votes
Financial abuse
89 votes
Mental abuse
214 votes
Survey

How long after you left your abusive partner did you start dating again? - Results

0-6 months
185 votes
6-12 months
106 votes
1-2 years
145 votes
2-5 years
134 votes
I haven't dated since
293 votes
Survey

How many hours of sleep do you get per night? - Results

Less than five
170 votes
Six or seven
229 votes
A solid eight
36 votes
More than eight—I love sleep!
40 votes
Survey

Should all states have anti-SLAPP laws so abusers can't sue survivors for reporting abuse? - Results

Yes, all states should have anti-SLAPP laws.
465 votes
No, if you want to sue, you should be able to sue.
22 votes
Survey

What happened when you obtained a protection order? - Results

Protection order reduced or stopped unwanted contact.
63 votes
Protection order was violated and I never reported it.
47 votes
Protection order was violated, I reported it and nothing happened to abuser.
211 votes
Protection order was violated and abuser received legal consequences.
55 votes
Survey

Improved legislation is most important in which area? - Results

Increased funding for victim services
263 votes
Expand gun prohibition to stalkers/dating partners
51 votes
Make it illegal to fire employee based on being abuse victim
44 votes
Prevent victim's credit score from being ruined by abuser
52 votes