Domestic Violence Surveys

Being believed and validated by others when I talk about my experience.

Being given options for support and resources and being encouraged to choose my path.

Through education on domestic violence and abuser tactics.

By connecting with other survivors and hearing that I'm not alone.

By not being forced to file a police report if I'm not ready.

By having the support from an advocate to choose when and how I leave the abuser.

By being supported even if I feel I have to return to the abuser.

Yes, it feels like an abuser took away my hope and I can't get it back.

Yes, I felt robbed of hope after abuse, but I'm getting it back now that I'm out.

No, an abuser didn't steal my ability to have hope for the future.

No, having hope is what helped me to escape an abusive partner.

Shaming, embarrassing or using put-downs

Blaming you for the abuser’s behavior

Ignoring you or using the silent treatment

Stalking or tracking you at all times

Gaslighting

Threats of violence

Sleep deprivation

Calling you names like “crazy”

Belittling your accomplishments or opinions

Isolating you from friends and family

Yes, and they were very helpful.

Yes, but I didn't find them helpful.

No, I haven't used one.

No, because I can’t find one in my area.

I don't know what this is.

Yes, I’ve thought about it and want to start a nonprofit someday!

Yes, I have actually founded my own domestic violence nonprofit.

No, this isn’t something I’ve thought about undertaking.

Gaslighting

Silent treatment

Degrading or belittling comments

Brainwashing

Trying to turn my children against me

Blaming for everything

I want them to believe and validate me.

I want them to be kind and trauma-sensitive.

I want them to be trained in the different nuances and tactics of abuse.

I want them to offer a variety of treatment options depending on my needs.

I want them to be able to treat adult and child survivors of abuse.

I want them to be able to testify on my or my children’s behalf in court.

I want them to accept my insurance.

Yes, they were helpful.

No, they were not very helpful.

I didn’t report the abuse.

I've kept a diary/log of dates, times, descriptions of abusive incidents.

I've kept medical records from injuries the abuser has caused.

I've taken photographs of injuries inflicted by an abuser.

I've taken photographs of property damaged or destroyed by an abuser.

I've taken photographs of weapons my abusive partner had/has.

I've asked witnesses to provide verbal testimonies in court.

I've taken screenshots of abusive texts, online messages or social media postings.

I've printed out abusive email communications.

I've taken audio or video recordings of my abusive partner during abuse.

I've used an app like VictimsVoice, eBodyguard, Bright Sky, Tape a Call or similar to record abusive incidents.

I've collected other types of evidence.

Yes, I've had a TBI from an abusive partner.

I'm not sure but I suspect I've suffered a TBI from abuse.

I don't believe I've ever had a TBI as the result of abuse.

Stole your identity.

Used your credit (e.g. opened a credit card or loan in your name without your permission).

Cyberstalked you.

Monitored your financial activity to assert control over you or your children.

I don’t have control over my own earnings.

I work for a business owned by my partner but don’t have an equal share of ownership.

I do all of child and home care but am often told I’m contributing nothing to the household.

I work a job for a wage but am still expected to do all of the work in the home.

My partner is also my boss and I risk losing my job if I end the relationship.

I’m being forced to work in the sex trade.

I’m required to work outside the home, even if I’m sick or too tired to do so.

My partner frivolity spends my earnings but says we cannot afford necessities.

From a dating partner

From my spouse

From a friend

From my coworker or boss

From my landlord

From a clergy member

From my medical health professional

From my parent or caregiver

From a family member other than a spouse

Yes

No

When they became possessive and controlling over me.

When they threatened to physically harm me.

When they threatened to physically harm my children.

The first time they were physically violent toward me.

The first time they were physically violent toward my children.

When I wound up needing medical care or being hospitalized.

When they threatened to kill me.

When they acquired a weapon that I knew could kill me.

After they tried to kill me.

My final straw was something else.

Yes

No

Survivor

Victim

Survivor still impacted by abuse

Other

Yes

No

The Demand Man

Mr. Right

The Water Torturer

The Drill Sergeant

Mr. Sensitive

The Player

Rambo

Yes

No

Yes, I believed that if I had really caused it, I could stop it.

No, I knew it was the abuser’s choice to continue to be abusive.

Yes, my abuser wouldn’t let me fall or stay asleep.

Yes, and my abuser would physically, sexually or verbally abuse me when I fell asleep.

Yes, and my abuser would punish me the next day for making mistakes while exhausted.

No, my abuser never used sleep deprivation as an abuse tactic.

Yes, and it helped my case.

Yes, but my abuser found out and destroyed it.

No, I wasn’t able to or I was afraid it would put me in more danger.

Yes, but it was inadmissible in court.

Yes, I would love to become an entrepreneur and I have an idea for a business.

Yes, I would love to become an entrepreneur but I don’t yet have a business idea.

No, I don’t really have any desire to start my own business.

Not enough DV-trained judges and attorneys.

Law enforcement needs to be better educated about recognizing DV.

More help for survivors to get orders of protection.

More free legal assistance from DV-trained attorneys.

Courts need to stop giving abusers custody of their children.

Mandatory arrest laws need to be abolished.

The problem is with the way our culture views women.

Before 3

Between 3-4

Between 5-6

Between 7-8

Between 9-12

I never talked about boundaries and consent with my kids, or don't plan to

Not until they are/were teenagers

Yes, because I’m afraid of being harassed or harmed by the police.

Yes, because I’m afraid of turning my partner over to the police, or I believe I should stand by him no matter what.

Yes, because of judgment from my own community.

Yes, because I’m afraid of raising my children alone or separating them from their father.

Yes, because of financial insecurity.

Yes, but for another reason not listed.

No, I have or will disclose abuse to someone.

Yes, I’ve tried one of the methods above, or something similar.

No, but I would.

No, and I regret not doing so.

No, I don’t think it’s my place to get involved.

No one.

1-2

3-4

5 or more

I decided in a split second to leave.

I struggled for several days/weeks deciding if I should go.

It took me years to overcome the barriers in order to escape.

I’m still struggling with figuring out how and when to leave.

I was able to gather up our financial documents.

I opened up a new account or credit card in my name only.

I was able to accumulate and safely hide away some cash.

I was able to change beneficiaries on my accounts to someone other than my abuser.

I wasn’t able to do any of these things before leaving my abuser.

Yes

No

Listening without judgment

Always being open and available to talk

Someone educating themselves about domestic violence to understand what you went through

Unexpected gestures of kindness (such as providing food, shelter, or a monetary gift)

Someone opening up to you about similar experiences

Physical affection, like a hug

Withholding judgement

Only once.

Yes, more than once.

No, my abuser obeyed the conditions of probation.

Meditation

Exercise

Massage

Binge-watching my favorite movies or TV show

Volunteering

Talking to a therapist

I haven't tried any of these

Yes, always.

Occasionally.

No, and I wouldn't ask.

I haven't before, but now I plan to ask.

Immediately after I separated from my abuser.

Less than a year.

One to three years.

Three to five years.

Five to 10 years.

More than 10 years.

Yes

No

It's up to the parents.

I'm not sure.

Yes, definitely. People are a product of what they see, hear and read.

Somewhat. But most people are probably smart enough to separate entertainment from from reality.

No, not at all.

The violence tended to escalate during the summer.

The violence stayed consistent from season to season.

The violence was less during the summer.

I’ve never called a hotline before.

Once or twice.

3-5 times.

6-10 times.

I’ve lost track, I’ve called them so often for help.

Only if it's the first kiss!

No, never.

Yes, always.

Sometimes.

I don’t remember feeling anything off-putting.

I remember some feelings of unease or uncertainty, but I looked past them.

Yes

No

Yes, the frequency of the abuse I experienced increased.

No, the frequency of the abuse I experienced did not increase.

I hired an attorney(s) at regular rates and paid for it.

I hired an attorney(s) who took my case at reduced rates.

I found and used free legal help or representation.

I represented myself or wasn’t able to find free or low-cost legal help.

Yes, I’m a mom and my abuser has tried to do this.

Yes, I’m a father and my abuser has tried to do this.

No, my abuser has not tried to keep me from seeing my children.

Yes, and it worked great.

Yes, but I wasn’t alerted when an offender was released.

No, I didn’t know about it. But I might sign up for notifications.

No, I’m in one of the two states it’s not offered in.

Yes, I have or would.

No, I haven’t or wouldn’t.

Yes, and the military took appropriate actions to help keep myself and my family safe.

Yes, but the military did not seem to support any repercussions for my abuser.

No, I was too afraid of what might happen to myself or my spouse as a result.

No, I didn’t report it for another reason.

Trying to find or access joint finances.

Opening my own bank account or credit card.

Repairing credit history ruined by abuser.

Creating a workable budget.

Saving for the future.

Returned to my abuser.

Went to a homeless shelter, stayed in my car overnight or lived on the streets.

Found a DV shelter with availability in another city.

Stayed at a hotel.

Stayed with family or friends.

Found refuge with my place of worship.

Other.

Verbal abuse felt more damaging than physical abuse.

The physical abuse was more damaging to me than verbal abuse.

All types of abuse I endured were equally as damaging long-term.

Friends willing to testify on abuse they witnessed

Medical reports of injuries

Police reports

Pictures of injuries, destruction or other visual evidence

Personal diary

Digital evidence, emails, texts, screenshots, voice mail

None of the above, I didn't document the abuse

I’ve been late or missed more days than I’d like.

My abuser has stalked me at my place of employment.

I’m distracted at work by my abuser’s harassment.

I’ve been unable to find work because of the abuse I’m enduring.

I’ve been fired because of domestic violence affecting my ability to work.

My family or close friends

A DV advocate

A DV support group

My workplace/coworkers

Religious or spiritual leaders

My doctor

I relied on myself for strength

Yes, I was afraid I wouldn’t be believed.

Yes, I thought my abuser would be able to work the system.

Yes, I was worried he or she would lose their job.

No, I spoke up and got help, or am planning to get help soon.

I knew I could talk to my parents about this.

I would have rather gone to my friends to talk about dating violence.

I trusted our school counselor on matters like this.

I did call, or would have felt comfortable calling, a help line to talk about my concerns.

No, I don’t feel like I had someone I could trust to talk to about this.

I don’t speak a common language.

I’m not sure where to turn for help.

Even if I left my abuser, I have nowhere else to live or no job to support myself with.

I can’t reveal the abuse for fear of shaming or disappointing my family.

I’m afraid I’ll be deported, or my abuser will be deported, if the abuse is revealed.

Other

It was safer to stay

Shame or embarrassment

Drugs or alcohol abuse were present

Stockholm syndrome

Living in a rural place or having no transportation

Being undocumented

Other

My abuser claiming I’m trying to turn our children against him or her.

My abuser turning my children against me.

My abuser trying to get custody when I know my children are scared to go to him or her.

My children being required to spend time with my abuser or being in a risk environment.

Having to communicate and deal with my abuser on a regular basis.

Finding knowledgeable people or resources to help me with child custody issues.

Being able to afford quality legal representation.

Mental disability

Being in the military

Having no place to go

Your religious beliefs

Your own past criminal record

A prior negative experience with the court system

Other

Yes, a landlord tried to evict me on grounds related to abuse my partner inflicted on me.

Yes, I was unable to break a lease without penalty when I needed to move for my safety.

Both of the above.

No, I’ve always been lucky to have a landlord that was not discriminatory in any way.

No, never.

Yes, but I luckily didn’t suffer long-term health effects.

Yes, and it still impacts my health.

An app was installed allowing my abuser to read my emails and texts.

My abuser used a GPS app to track my location.

My abuser stalked and monitored my activity on social media sites.

My abuser coerced me to share my passwords to my online accounts.

My abuser shared or threatened to share online my private or intimate photos.

More than one of the above.

All of the above.

My religion, and the people in it, were supportive and understanding.

I found my place of worship somewhat judgmental and not overly helpful.

My religion didn’t help or support leaving my partner.

1 time

2-3 times

4-6 times

7-10 times

11-15 times

16 or more times

I'm still with an abuser

Wanting to keep the family together

Illiteracy

You are or were incarcerated

Your abuser is in law enforcement

Your sexual orientation

Still being in love with your abuser

Mental illness or other health issues

No, I didn't use substances (or only did in moderation and unrelated to the abuse).

Yes, but only occassionally and in order to cope.

Yes, because my abuser forced it upon me.

Yes, for coping or because it was forced upon me, and I became addicted as a result.

I had a substance abuse problem before the violence started.

Yes, I think certain abusive behaviors can be unlearned.

It depends on the severity and type of abuse, but possibly.

No, once an abuser, always an abuser.

No, I’ve generally experienced a good response and police have been helpful.

On occasion, I’ve felt my call wasn’t given the priority it should have been from police.

Yes, I have felt repeatedly that police have not believed me when I say I’m in immediate danger.

Yes, a shelter in my area was able to help myself and my teenage children.

Sort of. I found help from a local organization, but we were given alternate housing outside of a shelter.

No, I couldn’t find a shelter that would take in me and my teenage children.

They helped me find or call a local DV advocate or shelter.

They helped me financially.

They accompanied me to court.

They helped me come up with a safety plan for escape.

They watched my pets for me when I left my abuser.

They listened and supported me unconditionally.

Unfortunately, none of my friends or family offered help.

Lack of an advocate to help you

Threats or excuses from or influence of abuser

Best interest of or pressure from children

Cultural or racial defenses

Denial

Being elderly or disabled

Other

The violence tended to escalate during holidays

The violence stayed consistent regardless of the day

The violence was less during holidays

Yes, I do speak often because it is healing and helps others.

Once or twice. I mostly keep it to myself and press on.

No, I haven’t spoken about it publically yet, but I want to.

No, I don’t plan on speaking out about it.

0-16 years old

17-24 years old

25-34 years old

35-45 years old

46+ years old

Physical abuse

Emotional/verbal abuse

Sexual abuse

Financial abuse

Mental abuse

0-6 months

6-12 months

1-2 years

2-5 years

I haven't dated since

Less than five

Six or seven

A solid eight

More than eight—I love sleep!

Yes, all states should have anti-SLAPP laws.

No, if you want to sue, you should be able to sue.

Protection order reduced or stopped unwanted contact.

Protection order was violated and I never reported it.

Protection order was violated, I reported it and nothing happened to abuser.

Protection order was violated and abuser received legal consequences.

Increased funding for victim services

Expand gun prohibition to stalkers/dating partners

Make it illegal to fire employee based on being abuse victim

Prevent victim's credit score from being ruined by abuser