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Domestic Violence Surveys

Have you ever experienced an abuser who ....? (Please select all that apply)

  • Stole your identity.
  • Used your credit (e.g. opened a credit card or loan in your name without your permission).
  • Cyberstalked you.
  • Monitored your financial activity to assert control over you or your children.
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How has or currently does your partner exploit your labor? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • I don’t have control over my own earnings.
  • I work for a business owned by my partner but don’t have an equal share of ownership.
  • I do all of child and home care but am often told I’m contributing nothing to the household.
  • I work a job for a wage but am still expected to do all of the work in the home.
  • My partner is also my boss and I risk losing my job if I end the relationship.
  • I’m being forced to work in the sex trade.
  • I’m required to work outside the home, even if I’m sick or too tired to do so.
  • My partner frivolity spends my earnings but says we cannot afford necessities.

In which relationships have you experienced gaslighting? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • From a dating partner
  • From my spouse
  • From a friend
  • From my coworker or boss
  • From my landlord
  • From a clergy member
  • From my medical health professional
  • From my parent or caregiver
  • From a family member other than a spouse

Have you ever created/used a covert signal to ask for help? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Yes
  • No

What was your last straw with an abusive partner? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • When they became possessive and controlling over me.
  • When they threatened to physically harm me.
  • When they threatened to physically harm my children.
  • The first time they were physically violent toward me.
  • The first time they were physically violent toward my children.
  • When I wound up needing medical care or being hospitalized.
  • When they threatened to kill me.
  • When they acquired a weapon that I knew could kill me.
  • After they tried to kill me.
  • My final straw was something else.

Did an abusive partner prevent you from voting in elections? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Yes
  • No

As a survivor of abuse, what term do you prefer? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Survivor
  • Victim
  • Survivor still impacted by abuse
  • Other

Were you asked about abuse at your last Dr. appointment? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Yes
  • No

Which abuser(s) have you encountered? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • The Demand Man
  • Mr. Right
  • The Water Torturer
  • The Drill Sergeant
  • Mr. Sensitive
  • The Player
  • Rambo

Do you think a DV offender registry could prevent abuse? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Yes
  • No

Survivors: Did you feel like you had power to stop abuse? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Yes, I believed that if I had really caused it, I could stop it.
  • No, I knew it was the abuser’s choice to continue to be abusive.

Did an abuser ever use sleep deprivation as a form of abuse? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Yes, my abuser wouldn’t let me fall or stay asleep.
  • Yes, and my abuser would physically, sexually or verbally abuse me when I fell asleep.
  • Yes, and my abuser would punish me the next day for making mistakes while exhausted.
  • No, my abuser never used sleep deprivation as an abuse tactic.

Did you collect evidence against your abuser before court? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Yes, and it helped my case.
  • Yes, but my abuser found out and destroyed it.
  • No, I wasn’t able to or I was afraid it would put me in more danger.
  • Yes, but it was inadmissible in court.

As a survivor, do you dream of becoming an entrepreneur? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Yes, I would love to become an entrepreneur and I have an idea for a business.
  • Yes, I would love to become an entrepreneur but I don’t yet have a business idea.
  • No, I don’t really have any desire to start my own business.

How do you feel the system is failing DV survivors? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Not enough DV-trained judges and attorneys.
  • Law enforcement needs to be better educated about recognizing DV.
  • More help for survivors to get orders of protection.
  • More free legal assistance from DV-trained attorneys.
  • Courts need to stop giving abusers custody of their children.
  • Mandatory arrest laws need to be abolished.
  • The problem is with the way our culture views women.

At what age did you or do you plan to talk to your kids about boundaries and consent? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Before 3
  • Between 3-4
  • Between 5-6
  • Between 7-8
  • Between 9-12
  • I never talked about boundaries and consent with my kids, or don't plan to
  • Not until they are/were teenagers

As a Black survivor of DV, did you or have you felt reluctant to disclose abuse? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Yes, because I’m afraid of being harassed or harmed by the police.
  • Yes, because I’m afraid of turning my partner over to the police, or I believe I should stand by him no matter what.
  • Yes, because of judgment from my own community.
  • Yes, because I’m afraid of raising my children alone or separating them from their father.
  • Yes, because of financial insecurity.
  • Yes, but for another reason not listed.
  • No, I have or will disclose abuse to someone.

Have you ever intervened when you’ve witnessed domestic violence? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Yes, I’ve tried one of the methods above, or something similar.
  • No, but I would.
  • No, and I regret not doing so.
  • No, I don’t think it’s my place to get involved.

How many people did you tell when you were ready to leave your abuser? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • No one.
  • 1-2
  • 3-4
  • 5 or more

When you left your abuser, did you contemplate the decision for a while? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • I decided in a split second to leave.
  • I struggled for several days/weeks deciding if I should go.
  • It took me years to overcome the barriers in order to escape.
  • I’m still struggling with figuring out how and when to leave.

Did you have time to do any of the following before leaving your abuser? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • I was able to gather up our financial documents.
  • I opened up a new account or credit card in my name only.
  • I was able to accumulate and safely hide away some cash.
  • I was able to change beneficiaries on my accounts to someone other than my abuser.
  • I wasn’t able to do any of these things before leaving my abuser.

Has someone used a LifeLock fraudulently to stalk you? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Yes
  • No

Survivors: What types of empathy made a difference in your life? (Select all that apply.) closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Listening without judgment
  • Always being open and available to talk
  • Someone educating themselves about domestic violence to understand what you went through
  • Unexpected gestures of kindness (such as providing food, shelter, or a monetary gift)
  • Someone opening up to you about similar experiences
  • Physical affection, like a hug
  • Withholding judgement

If your abuser was sentenced to probation, did he ever violate the terms of his probation? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Only once.
  • Yes, more than once.
  • No, my abuser obeyed the conditions of probation.

Which of these at-home methods helped relieve your symptoms of trauma? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Meditation
  • Exercise
  • Massage
  • Binge-watching my favorite movies or TV show
  • Volunteering
  • Talking to a therapist
  • I haven't tried any of these

Parents: Do you ask about guns in the home before letting your child play somewhere new? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Yes, always.
  • Occasionally.
  • No, and I wouldn't ask.
  • I haven't before, but now I plan to ask.

How long did it take after abuse ended to feel like a strong, empowered survivor? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Immediately after I separated from my abuser.
  • Less than a year.
  • One to three years.
  • Three to five years.
  • Five to 10 years.
  • More than 10 years.

Do you believe spanking a child is an OK form of discipline? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Yes
  • No
  • It's up to the parents.
  • I'm not sure.

Does the entertainment industry influence society’s ideas on abuse, rape and consent? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Yes, definitely. People are a product of what they see, hear and read.
  • Somewhat. But most people are probably smart enough to separate entertainment from from reality.
  • No, not at all.

If you have experienced domestic violence, how was it impacted by the summer season? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • The violence tended to escalate during the summer.
  • The violence stayed consistent from season to season.
  • The violence was less during the summer.

If you’re a survivor, how many times have you reached out to a hotline? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • I’ve never called a hotline before.
  • Once or twice.
  • 3-5 times.
  • 6-10 times.
  • I’ve lost track, I’ve called them so often for help.

Do you ask for consent before kissing your partner? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Only if it's the first kiss!
  • No, never.
  • Yes, always.
  • Sometimes.

What did your instincts tell you when you met your abuser the first time? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • I don’t remember feeling anything off-putting.
  • I remember some feelings of unease or uncertainty, but I looked past them.

Did you delay/are you delaying leaving your abuser due to concerns of escalated violence? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Yes
  • No

Did news, politics or current events impact the frequency of the abuse you experienced? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Yes, the frequency of the abuse I experienced increased.
  • No, the frequency of the abuse I experienced did not increase.

As a survivor, what sort of legal representation did you get pertaining to your DV case? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • I hired an attorney(s) at regular rates and paid for it.
  • I hired an attorney(s) who took my case at reduced rates.
  • I found and used free legal help or representation.
  • I represented myself or wasn’t able to find free or low-cost legal help.

Have you felt like your abuser has kept or tried to keep your children from you? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Yes, I’m a mom and my abuser has tried to do this.
  • Yes, I’m a father and my abuser has tried to do this.
  • No, my abuser has not tried to keep me from seeing my children.

Have you ever used VINE to notify you of an offender’s release? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Yes, and it worked great.
  • Yes, but I wasn’t alerted when an offender was released.
  • No, I didn’t know about it. But I might sign up for notifications.
  • No, I’m in one of the two states it’s not offered in.

Have you or would you involve your children in safety planning? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Yes, I have or would.
  • No, I haven’t or wouldn’t.

If you’ve experienced DV at the hands of a serviceman or woman, have you reported it? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Yes, and the military took appropriate actions to help keep myself and my family safe.
  • Yes, but the military did not seem to support any repercussions for my abuser.
  • No, I was too afraid of what might happen to myself or my spouse as a result.
  • No, I didn’t report it for another reason.

What’s the biggest financial hurdle you’ve had to overcome after abuse? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Trying to find or access joint finances.
  • Opening my own bank account or credit card.
  • Repairing credit history ruined by abuser.
  • Creating a workable budget.
  • Saving for the future.

If you’ve been turned away from a DV shelter because of lack of space, what did you do? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Returned to my abuser.
  • Went to a homeless shelter, stayed in my car overnight or lived on the streets.
  • Found a DV shelter with availability in another city.
  • Stayed at a hotel.
  • Stayed with family or friends.
  • Found refuge with my place of worship.
  • Other.

Did you find verbal abuse more or less damaging, long-term, than physical abuse? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Verbal abuse felt more damaging than physical abuse.
  • The physical abuse was more damaging to me than verbal abuse.
  • All types of abuse I endured were equally as damaging long-term.

How did you document the abuse you experienced? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Friends willing to testify on abuse they witnessed
  • Medical reports of injuries
  • Police reports
  • Pictures of injuries, destruction or other visual evidence
  • Personal diary
  • Digital evidence, emails, texts, screenshots, voice mail
  • None of the above, I didn't document the abuse

How has domestic violence most impacted you at work? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • I’ve been late or missed more days than I’d like.
  • My abuser has stalked me at my place of employment.
  • I’m distracted at work by my abuser’s harassment.
  • I’ve been unable to find work because of the abuse I’m enduring.
  • I’ve been fired because of domestic violence affecting my ability to work.

Where did you find the most support while going through domestic abuse? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • My family or close friends
  • A DV advocate
  • A DV support group
  • My workplace/coworkers
  • Religious or spiritual leaders
  • My doctor
  • I relied on myself for strength

If your abuser was or is in law enforcement, did that give you pause about speaking out? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Yes, I was afraid I wouldn’t be believed.
  • Yes, I thought my abuser would be able to work the system.
  • Yes, I was worried he or she would lose their job.
  • No, I spoke up and got help, or am planning to get help soon.

As a teen, did you feel like you had someone you could talk to about dating violence? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • I knew I could talk to my parents about this.
  • I would have rather gone to my friends to talk about dating violence.
  • I trusted our school counselor on matters like this.
  • I did call, or would have felt comfortable calling, a help line to talk about my concerns.
  • No, I don’t feel like I had someone I could trust to talk to about this.

As an immigrant survivor of domestic abuse, what challenge did you face in getting help? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • I don’t speak a common language.
  • I’m not sure where to turn for help.
  • Even if I left my abuser, I have nowhere else to live or no job to support myself with.
  • I can’t reveal the abuse for fear of shaming or disappointing my family.
  • I’m afraid I’ll be deported, or my abuser will be deported, if the abuse is revealed.
  • Other

What barrier did you come up against when you thought about leaving your abuser? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • It was safer to stay
  • Shame or embarrassment
  • Drugs or alcohol abuse were present
  • Stockholm syndrome
  • Living in a rural place or having no transportation
  • Being undocumented
  • Other

As a parent & survivor, what's been the biggest challenge when it comes to custody issues? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • My abuser claiming I’m trying to turn our children against him or her.
  • My abuser turning my children against me.
  • My abuser trying to get custody when I know my children are scared to go to him or her.
  • My children being required to spend time with my abuser or being in a risk environment.
  • Having to communicate and deal with my abuser on a regular basis.
  • Finding knowledgeable people or resources to help me with child custody issues.
  • Being able to afford quality legal representation.

Which of these barriers did you face when you thought about leaving your abusive partner? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Mental disability
  • Being in the military
  • Having no place to go
  • Your religious beliefs
  • Your own past criminal record
  • A prior negative experience with the court system
  • Other

Have you ever come up against housing discrimination as a survivor of domestic violence? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Yes, a landlord tried to evict me on grounds related to abuse my partner inflicted on me.
  • Yes, I was unable to break a lease without penalty when I needed to move for my safety.
  • Both of the above.
  • No, I’ve always been lucky to have a landlord that was not discriminatory in any way.

Did your batterer use strangulation as an abuse tactic? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • No, never.
  • Yes, but I luckily didn’t suffer long-term health effects.
  • Yes, and it still impacts my health.

If you’ve experienced cyberstalking, what tactic did your abuser use? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • An app was installed allowing my abuser to read my emails and texts.
  • My abuser used a GPS app to track my location.
  • My abuser stalked and monitored my activity on social media sites.
  • My abuser coerced me to share my passwords to my online accounts.
  • My abuser shared or threatened to share online my private or intimate photos.
  • More than one of the above.
  • All of the above.

How supportive was your religion when you contemplated leaving an abusive partner? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • My religion, and the people in it, were supportive and understanding.
  • I found my place of worship somewhat judgmental and not overly helpful.
  • My religion didn’t help or support leaving my partner.

How many times did you attempt to leave your abuser before you were able to escape? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • 1 time
  • 2-3 times
  • 4-6 times
  • 7-10 times
  • 11-15 times
  • 16 or more times
  • I'm still with an abuser

What barrier did you come up against when you thought about leaving your abusive partner? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Wanting to keep the family together
  • Illiteracy
  • You are or were incarcerated
  • Your abuser is in law enforcement
  • Your sexual orientation
  • Still being in love with your abuser
  • Mental illness or other health issues

Did you use drugs or alcohol while experiencing abuse? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • No, I didn't use substances (or only did in moderation and unrelated to the abuse).
  • Yes, but only occassionally and in order to cope.
  • Yes, because my abuser forced it upon me.
  • Yes, for coping or because it was forced upon me, and I became addicted as a result.
  • I had a substance abuse problem before the violence started.

Do you think an abusive partner could change after attending batterer counseling? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Yes, I think certain abusive behaviors can be unlearned.
  • It depends on the severity and type of abuse, but possibly.
  • No, once an abuser, always an abuser.

Have you experienced discrimination from law enforcement when calling to report abuse? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • No, I’ve generally experienced a good response and police have been helpful.
  • On occasion, I’ve felt my call wasn’t given the priority it should have been from police.
  • Yes, I have felt repeatedly that police have not believed me when I say I’m in immediate danger.

If you left an abusive partner with your teen, were you able to find shelter? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Yes, a shelter in my area was able to help myself and my teenage children.
  • Sort of. I found help from a local organization, but we were given alternate housing outside of a shelter.
  • No, I couldn’t find a shelter that would take in me and my teenage children.

When you were experiencing abuse, what did someone do that you found most helpful? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • They helped me find or call a local DV advocate or shelter.
  • They helped me financially.
  • They accompanied me to court.
  • They helped me come up with a safety plan for escape.
  • They watched my pets for me when I left my abuser.
  • They listened and supported me unconditionally.
  • Unfortunately, none of my friends or family offered help.

What barrier did you come up against when you thought about leaving your abusive partner? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Lack of an advocate to help you
  • Threats or excuses from or influence of abuser
  • Best interest of or pressure from children
  • Cultural or racial defenses
  • Denial
  • Being elderly or disabled
  • Other

If you’ve experienced domestic violence, how was it impacted by holidays? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • The violence tended to escalate during holidays
  • The violence stayed consistent regardless of the day
  • The violence was less during holidays

Have you shared your story of domestic abuse publically before? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Yes, I do speak often because it is healing and helps others.
  • Once or twice. I mostly keep it to myself and press on.
  • No, I haven’t spoken about it publically yet, but I want to.
  • No, I don’t plan on speaking out about it.

At what age did you first experience abuse by an intimate partner? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • 0-16 years old
  • 17-24 years old
  • 25-34 years old
  • 35-45 years old
  • 46+ years old

Which type of abuse did you experience first? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Physical abuse
  • Emotional/verbal abuse
  • Sexual abuse
  • Financial abuse
  • Mental abuse

How long after you left your abusive partner did you start dating again? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • 0-6 months
  • 6-12 months
  • 1-2 years
  • 2-5 years
  • I haven't dated since

How many hours of sleep do you get per night? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Less than five
  • Six or seven
  • A solid eight
  • More than eight—I love sleep!

Should all states have anti-SLAPP laws so abusers can't sue survivors for reporting abuse? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Yes, all states should have anti-SLAPP laws.
  • No, if you want to sue, you should be able to sue.

What happened when you obtained a protection order? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Protection order reduced or stopped unwanted contact.
  • Protection order was violated and I never reported it.
  • Protection order was violated, I reported it and nothing happened to abuser.
  • Protection order was violated and abuser received legal consequences.

Improved legislation is most important in which area? closed (Please select all that apply)

  • Increased funding for victim services
  • Expand gun prohibition to stalkers/dating partners
  • Make it illegal to fire employee based on being abuse victim
  • Prevent victim's credit score from being ruined by abuser

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Welcome, this is your discreet connection to help.
You are safe here.

Menstruation is an experience shared by
generations of women across the globe.
Sadly, abuse is another commonly shared experience between women.

Be it physical or psychological, abuse is not OK in any form.
Period.

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