A New Story in Ink: One Survivors Tattoo Transformation

Key Takeaways:

1. Abuse can be subtle and symbolic. Tattoos and “branding” can be tools of control, not just acts of love.
2. Reclaiming her body aids healing. Covering the tattoo helped Molly turn a mark of control into one of empowerment.
3. Support is essential. Safe, empathetic spaces and resources can help survivors rebuild their lives.

Months earlier, Molly’s* ex-boyfriend had pointed a loaded gun at her, the final straw in a pattern of abuse that led her to escaping with her two children and her life. So when she met Leo, he felt like a breath of fresh air. He was caring, attentive and also had a child. The pieces seemed to fit together perfectly. 

The relationship moved quickly.Molly felt swept off her feet, a metaphor that really shouldn’t be associated with something positive, when you think about it. After all, flash floods also sweep people off their feet. 

Molly says she recognizes his unwavering affection now as classic love-bombing. He was grooming her, getting her to a place where her only answer to every subsequent request would be “yes.”

“There were no red flags,” Molly says. So it made sense when Leo suggested, after just three months, that he move in with her. She agreed. She had no idea until much later that his mom was essentially kicking him out of her house. 

It also made sense to her that only a couple of months in, she would agree to get both his initials and hers tattooed on her wrist, intertwined, just like they were in real life. She tried to dissociate from the fact that things were starting to shift slightly. 

“I wanted to show my loyalty.” She says Leo had begun to get a little more suspicious of Molly. He had forced her to stop hanging out with her male best friend. He had asked her not to see a male doctor. 

“I wanted to show he had no reason to doubt me, even though I was doing the one thing everyone says not to do. I was permanently changing my body for him. He was happy about it.”

Leo always talked about doing the same for Molly, but never did, she says. That’s unsurprising when you consider the crux of power and control. It typically only goes one way. 

And that’s how it continued from there. For a while, she had bought herself peace, but it didn’t last forever. Molly says Leo’s control escalated from that point on. While there was never any overt physical violence, he made threats that scared her. She knew she and her kids weren’t safe, but she felt trapped. She also wished, as so many survivors of abuse do, that things would eventually turn around. That Leo would once again become the kind and caring man he had once been. 

Nine years went by and then, this past January, Molly says she gave herself an ultimatum. 

“If things didn’t change in three months, then I was going to walk away, even though we were engaged.” 

“All of a sudden, the cops were knocking at the door with a search warrant,” she remembers. It was February when Leo was arrested. The charges are severe and involve minors, the details of which we won’t reveal for Molly’s safety. There’s a very good chance Leo won’t be getting out of prison any time soon. 

“I had no clue about anything that he was doing,” says Molly. “If I had any clue, I would have turned him in myself. He was very good at hiding things.”

What couldn’t be hidden was the branding that Leo insisted Molly get on her skin. After his arrest, Molly says she tried to keep it covered at all times with long sleeves or bracelets, anything that would keep her from remembering that he was once someone she trusted.

“We have been trying to rebuild our lives since that day, and it has been truly difficult. Things are slowly getting better, but it is still a struggle to say the least,” she says of her and her children. “Having the tattoo was just a constant reminder.”

When Molly reached out to DomesticShelters.org to tell her story, we reached out to a local tattoo artist in her area. For safety reasons, we’ve changed his name as well. John says there’s always a story behind every tattoo, and sometimes clients tell him. Sometimes they don’t. He’s never had a client disclose that they were being abused before, but he wants people to know his shop is a safe place. 



“Some tattoos are emotional. Seventy-five to 80 percent of my clientele are women. I just want everyone to feel comfortable and tell their story if they have a story.” He says he doesn’t have favorite tattoos so much as he has favorite conversations with clients.

“I want to get to know you as a human being. It has nothing to do with tattooing. I just want to make sure that person is okay.”

When he learned what Molly endured, he was only too happy to cover Leo’s branding up with things that brought her joy instead. Molly chose flowers that represented the birth month of her children and a squirrel because she loves to hand-feed them in her backyard. She says it’s therapeutic. Finally, she added books to the design to represent her love of reading. 

When it was done, John asked Molly, “Do you feel relief now?” Maybe he was talking about the pain of the tattoo needle, which Molly had to deep breathe to get through. Or maybe, he was talking about something else.

“Yes, very much so,” Molly said, looking at her new tattoo with a smile. “It was worth it. Even with all the pain, it really is worth it.”

“Good, that’s what we wanted,” John answered. 

When she got home, Molly tells us that her kids were eager to see her new ink.Her kids loved how they were now represented on her wrist. 

“I’m not constantly reminded now. I don’t need to hide my wrist from people.”

*Names of survivor and perpetrator have been changed for safety.