Lisa Aronson Fontes, PhD
Child Abuse & Domestic Violence Expert
Lisa Aronson Fontes Ph.D. is a popular speaker, workshop facilitator and senior Lecturer at the University of Massachusetts. She is the author of Invisible Chains: Overcoming Coercive Control in Your Intimate Relationship and has dedicated two decades to making the mental health, social service, and criminal justice systems more responsive to culturally diverse people. She has worked as a family, individual, and group psychotherapist, and has conducted research in Santiago, Chile, and with Puerto Ricans, African Americans, and European Americans in the United States.
Articles by Lisa Aronson Fontes, PhD
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Perspecticide: Erased by Your Partner
April 18, 2016 The harsh reality of "perspecticide" in a coercive control relationship | Living with an abusive and controlling partner can feel like l... read more
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8 Ways Controlling Men Make Mothering Even Harder
June 20, 2016 Children suffer fear, uncertainty and trauma | Being a mother is the most challenging job in the world, even with the help of a loving partner or ... read more
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Abuse That's Hard to Recognize: Coercive Control
September 28, 2015 Intimate partner abuse that is often disguised as love | Isolation. Threats. Humiliation. Sometimes even physical abuse. These are the weapons of ... read more
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Recovery After a Controlling Relationship
May 20, 2016 From fear and despair towards happy in eight steps | It takes a long time to recover from an abusive and controlling relationship. Being monitored... read more
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Sexual Coercion in Intimate Relationships: Eight Tactics
September 27, 2021 When sex in a couple is not exactly violent, but not entirely voluntary, either | Sexual coercion refers to using nonviolent means to pressure an u... read more
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From Romance to Isolation: Understanding Grooming
February 11, 2019 Anyone can fall for the clever manipulations of an abusive partner | Most relationships that become violent or controlling do not start that way. R... read more
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The Silent Treatment: An Abuser's Controlling Tactic
May 27, 2019 Ignoring another person is a strong communication of power and control | Refusing to listen, talk or respond to a partner is sometimes called “the ... read more
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Yes, Abusive Partners Brainwash Their Victims
April 07, 2021 Abusers deliberately make their partners feel disoriented, dependent and worthless. Learn how to recover from this type of control | “I felt like h... read more
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6 Tips to Overcome Body Shame
May 06, 2020 Set yourself free from abuse-induced body shame | Many abusers criticize and even disfigure their partner’s body as a tactic of control. Over time,... read more
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She Has No Money, She Will Come Crawling Back. NOT!
August 25, 2016 Group explores ways to resolve economic dilemmas that hobble survivors | Two weeks after they meet, he insists on moving into her apartment and po... read more
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Dating After Domestic Violence, Critical Questions to Ask
June 15, 2020 Lonely in a pandemic, domestic violence survivors face difficult choices. | With the extreme stresses of COVID-19 and social distancing, it is easy... read more
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Helping Ultra-Orthodox Jews Escape Domestic Violence
April 03, 2019 Understanding their culture, we can help survivors choose their own path | “When I left my husband so my kids and I could survive, the community le... read more
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Drugging an Intimate Partner as an Abuse Tactic
October 11, 2021 Abusers slip drugs to their intimate partners to control, sexually assault, disable and discredit them | In a violating and abusive move, sometimes... read more
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What Happens When You Press Charges for Domestic Violence?
December 20, 2021 Learn more about pressing charges for domestic violence. Keep in mind, state laws and local practices vary | If a partner has been abusive toward y... read more
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When Someone Else Controls the Money
July 01, 2019 Learn these terms and you can recognize financial abuse | A relationship with an abusive partner often devastates victims’ finances. Unfortunately,... read more
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Divorce Your (Bad) Mother: How to Leave and Still Be Free
July 18, 2016 Award winning poet and playwright Magdalena Gomez confronts the Mother Taboo | Frequent DomesticShelters.org contributor, Senior Lecturer, Univers... read more
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Help Police Determine Who is the Primary Aggressor
January 11, 2021 Abusers often try to pass themselves off as victims. Help police understand what is really going on | When police arrive at homes after domestic vi... read more
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Taking the Stand in Domestic Violence: Tips for Testifying
August 05, 2020 How to confidently take the stand to tell your side in court | Although you may feel scared or even panicked about testifying, speaking your truth ... read more
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Controlling Your Partner Is Illegal, But Not in the U.S.
May 17, 2017 British victims are better protected from their controlling, abusive partners | Update 5/24/22: Since this piece was published, coercive control la... read more
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Post-Separation Abuse Harms Children
January 31, 2022 There are myriad ways abusers can harm children even after the protective parent escapes | Even abusers recognize how much domestic abuse harms chi... read more
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Are the Kids Really Okay?
March 25, 2019 How we should view children and teens who seem to be coping well after domestic violence | Sometimes children and teens seem to be “okay” when they... read more
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Revenge Porn Meets the Law: Federal Protections for Victims
September 13, 2021 A federal law on nonconsensual distribution of sexual images, or “revenge porn,” is poised to become law | Forty-eight states, the District of Colu... read more
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When an Abuser Tries to Block Your Separation
October 12, 2020 Eight response strategies to help you leave an abusive partner safely | Most people feel scared and confused when they think about separating from ... read more
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8 Common Post-Separation Domestic Abuse Tactics
April 27, 2022 Even after a survivor leaves, the abuser doesn’t always stop abusing | When domestic abuse victims leave a relationship, we assume they are safe. H... read more
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Nine Ways to Prepare to Testify in Court
August 03, 2020 Get the outcome you want in court by being prepared for the big day | Although you may feel concerned or even terrified about testifying against th... read more
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You Can Call a Hotline Even If You Don't Want to Leave
November 30, 2020 10 questions you can ask an advocate that have nothing to do with shelter | Contrary to what many believe, shelter hotlines are not only for people... read more
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When Abusers Hurt Themselves to Get Victims in Trouble
August 24, 2020 Protect yourself from an abuser who self-injures to look like a victim | To dominate their partners, abusers sometimes call the police against thei... read more
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Building Resilience After Trauma: Lessons from Chile
August 02, 2016 Inspiration for those feeling burdened by the life's mishaps | Picture that you live in a little coastal village in Chile. Maybe you fish or s... read more
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Do I Need to Go to Rehab?
February 25, 2019 Substance abuse can often be a byproduct of living through domestic violence, but there are people who can help | Some survivors turn to drugs or a... read more
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4 Phases Before an Abuser Kills
May 18, 2022 Learn how abusers who use sex to control can indicate later dangerousness—and what to do about it | Most domestic abusers do not kill their partner... read more
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Legal Help for Domestic Violence Issues
December 14, 2020 A helpline specifically for legal assistance in domestic violence cases | Domestic violence often brings legal concerns into survivors’ lives. For ... read more
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How an Expert Witness Can Help Your Court Case: Part 1
August 09, 2021 Using an expert witness could help build credibility in domestic violence or coercive control court cases | Expert witnesses educate judges and jur... read more
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It's Post-Separation Legal Abuse, Not High-Conflict Divorce
February 23, 2022 Abusers torment their exes through the courts in a form of coercive control | When abusers use the courts to harass their ex-partners, judges somet... read more
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10 Suggestions for Coping with Loneliness in the Pandemic
March 03, 2021 Loneliness might make you feel like calling up an ex, and when abuse was involved, this is a horrible idea | Domestic abusers isolate their partner... read more
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Refugee Children & Intimate Partner Violence: Part I
October 01, 2018 Effects of exposure to intimate partner violence (IPV) on refugee children and ways to reduce this exposure by helping their mothers achieve safety | read more
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Is It OK to Step Away from a Survivor of Domestic Violence?
February 16, 2022 Helping a friend or family member who is a victim of domestic abuse can wear you out. You may need to take a break to care for yourself | It is inc... read more
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Refugee Children & Intimate Partner Violence: Part II
October 01, 2018 How to boost the resilience of children exposed to IPV | While many behaviors signal a child in distress, no behavior in and of itself is diagnosti... read more
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Coping With a Violent Death: For Survivors of Homicide
September 28, 2020 Someone you loved was killed. Learn ways survivors of domestic violence can cope with this tragedy | You probably remember the moment you heard the... read more
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Is Your Partner Exploiting Your Work?
July 21, 2021 You work too hard, and you feel you have no choice about it. Is your partner exploiting your labor? | In many [healthy] couples, both people work h... read more
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How to Find an Expert Witness for Court: Part 2
August 11, 2021 Where to find the right expert witness for your domestic violence or coercive control case, and how much you can expect to pay | If you read Part I... read more
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Tips to Prepare for Virtual Court
May 17, 2021 With many court hearings going virtual, it’s important to prepare when testifying from a computer or smart phone | Just the idea of going to court ... read more
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Something Wild is Gripping Book Club Pick
March 21, 2022 Author Hanna Halperin uses her real-life experience as domestic abuse advocate to tell a harrowing tale | Author and domestic abuse advocate/counse... read more
