Ask Amanda: Staying Positive During Abuse

Q: How can a woman, still with an abusive partner, stay positive in a world of negativity and not give up? – Darleen T.

A: If that woman is you, Darleen, I’m so sorry you are enduring that. It’s clear you don’t want to give up, so remind yourself daily that you’re a survivor. I know it’s hard, but try to stay positive that you will find the right time and the right way to make your life safe, healthy and positive.

I asked Connie Sloan, revitalization coach and founder of The S.O.D.A. Foundation, an organization aimed at empowering survivors, for her advice on staying positive while enduring abuse. “To remain positive in any negative situation requires something in which to draw strength. It could be your faith in a "higher power," your children or a vision that you have for yourself, knowing that if you remained focused on that vision, it will manifest. The other part is knowing you are worthy of better circumstances and a better life.” Connie suggests taking a moment each morning after you wake up, look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you are worthy of a better life. “Believe that you are deserving of it. Visualize yourself happy, healthy and free of all and any form of abuse. Do something each day to bring that vision into clear focus and start making plans to bring it into alignment.”

Whenever you’re ready, Darleen, there are people who want to help you find a safe way to a healthier life. Find an advocate near you on this site, DomesticShelters.org.